Sakura (sakuranbo) wrote,

taking care of people

Well I spent last night trying to keep a couple of friends company and stop them from compleatly loosing it.

Walter said he was ok, and it had been more than a day since his mother posted so I was going to go hang out with Allan, but then Kevin also had issues, and that was to much. I wasn't going to leave both of them alone when they were so obviously miserable.

It's hard to watch him hurt. He is so young and so alone. He's trying realy hard to make it on his own, but that's not easy, and he has made some mistakes in the past. He has applied for I don't know how many jobs latly. He almost got a decent one, just to have something get in the way at the last minute.

I wish he had been more careful about his last one. You always always always double check that they have aproved you having time off. Even when you ask for it before you even get the job.

Walter is dealing with problems with his mother. He's trying so hard not to be hurt, not to care what she thinks he is doing, or that she doesn't believe him, but of course he still does. She's his mother after all and he loves her.

I don't know how I would handle it if I were him. She seems to think he does drugs, and drives drunk, and lots of other realy stupid things. Not to mention lying. And it's very frustrating from my point of view because I know that he isn't taking pills and isn't driving drunk. ( I don't think he lies but I can't prove that while I know the others aren't true)

OWWWWWWWWW------- - - I understand why Walter's mother thinks he's doing drugs. She read his post thanking Kevin for the "stuff" and saying that it worked well.

She doesn't know that it's benardril or nighttime alieve. (I forget exactly what it is but it's an over the counter pain reliever that has stuff in it to make you go to sleep. And he realy realy needed to go to sleep. That should be over on the 5th, but till then I can understand why he needs some help to sleep about once a week.) But it's not drugs. I guess she could be mad about him taking that, but if I were a mother I wouldn't be too worried about nighttime advil.

He wants so bad to tell her everything that has been going on. Set the record straight and not feel like he's hiding anything, but he's afraid that she will only believe him about the bad things. That she will just add them to the list of things she thinks he is doing wrong and will not listen to him about the good things. Then he thinks she is going to basically disown him, and cut all ties with him.

I don't think she will cut all ties. She's a mother after all, and I don't see my mother ever being able to disown me. Of course, my mother is not strongly religous. His mother may not be able to acept that he does not think the way she does about religion. That things she thinks are wrong because the church says they are he may not think are wrong because he's not so sure the church is always right. (Walter has good morals, I know he wouldn't hurt anyone or anything like that but they differ from morman morals a bit.)

Of course honestly it may be better for him if for at least a while.
I don't know how good of a relationship you can have with someone who will not trust you.

It's an ugly cycle. She is a mother and he is never home (because he couldn't stand it. He loves her but the situation was driving him crazy.) so of course she is scared for him. So she asks. He feels hurt that she asks and tells her he's not. But she doesn't believe him because she is worried about him and doens't understand why he is never home. He is hurt that she doesn't trust him, so he stops telling her things. He doesn't tell her about the bad things that happen in his life because he is afraid that she will jump to conclutions. And of course she feels he is not being honest with her so she sees it as proof that he is lying.

I don't know if or how it can be fixed. Maybe if he is more open with her and tells her more about what is happening in his life, she will see that as him taking the first step and it will work out. I can only hope.

Kevin was pretty torn up about the Anne situation. I told him to consider giving up on the relationship, and if he decides to keep trying to give Anne some room and then go for it again. Leave her alone for a week or two then see if she wants to try. I don't know if it was good advice, but it was the best advice I could give.

On the up side, Brian posted again YEAH. Grrr, it's not very fun still loving your ex even when you have been broken up almost a year. I guess it means that I realy did love him though so that much is good. (well or at least care for him)

Oh also on the upside, Anne found my w2's YEAH. Now I can do my taxes.
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