Sakura (sakuranbo) wrote,
Sakura
sakuranbo

just when you think part of you is dead... .

Wow I miss Brian. That's random isn't it.

Just when I was thinking his last post had finnaly killed that. I could have sworn that my feeling for him were dead. (not that I didn't love him but that I had accepted that I would never be close to him again) For the past week and a half I haven't realy cared. It has just been the way it is.


I don't want to miss him. I have been trying so hard to stay out of his life.

But now that the imediate crisis is over I miss him again. Now in a heart rending way, just in a deep sad kinda way. And it's not even an issue what he thinks of me. I accept what he thinks of me. I am beginning to respect myself again inspite of it, and it would be nice if he thought better of me, but that's not what I want. What I am realy missing is just hearing about how he's been and what he's up to.

I miss Allen also, but I will see him as soon as school isn't killing me anymore. Sighs. School is eating my lunch right now. It didn't like being pretty much compleatly ignored for a whole week in the middle of the semester.

Walter and I are doing good. I am a little afraid we are spending to much time together. Not realy from my side but at this point I am pretty much his life, and that's just not healthy.

Anne and I. We appear to be getting along about like normal.

I'm hungry but I don't have time for breakfast.
I don't know what I am going to do to help walter.

But I do know what I am doing today after class. Homework for networking. And tomarrow after class? Homework for AI. And the day after that and the day after that and the day after that.... .

grrrrrr

note at 10:56
Brian posted
warm fuzzy feeling and tears at the same time
damn irrational emotions
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